Exhale half-walked, half-ran down the empty hall to her first period class, a tardy slip clutched tightly in her hand. Her heart pounded in her ears, not only from the running around she had done that morning after sleeping through her alarm clock and realizing she was late, but also because of the information she was so desperate to talk to Raine about. Upon bursting through the door a little too hurriedly, the class all turned to look at her as she entered the room. Her face burned with blush, which only deepened when Mrs. Ellington said crisply, “Ms. Brooks. So nice of you to decide to grace us with your presence this morning. Take your seat.”

“Sorry,” Exhale mumbled, knowing it was just her luck that the one morning she was late happened to be the morning she had her bitchiest teacher first thing. After handing her teacher the slip, she made her way quickly to her desk and sat down, slouching low in hopes that everyone would stop looking at her.

Eventually, everyone’s attention returned to the lesson or whatever it was they had been doing besides listening to Mrs. Ellington before Exhale’s grand entrance. Everyone except Raine, who was continuing to stare at her, eager for an explanation.

Exhale watched Mrs. Ellington until she was sure it was safe, then leaned over a little and whispered, “I woke up late this morning beca-”

“Ms. Brooks!” Mrs. Ellington interrupted sharply. “You’ve already disrupted the class once. Are you going for a record?”

“Lunch,” Raine mouthed when the teacher had again turned her back to them.

Nodding, Exhale leaned back and tried to catch her breath, hoping Raine would know what to do.

The morning passed by in a haze. As vainly as she tried to pay attention to her classes, Exhale found it impossible to take her mind off of what had kept her awake all night and caused her to be late in the morning. When the bell finally rang signaling lunch, Exhale hopped up from her desk, eager to not only escape Algebra II, but also to get to Raine and finally tell her what had been going on. She hurried through the throngs of people filling the halls and made her way across the courtyard to the cafeteria. She hadn’t had time to make a lunch that morning, but hunger was the last thing on her mind as she made a beeline for her and Raine’s normal table, bypassing the lines to buy a hot lunch. Once spotting Raine already sitting and eating, her pace quickened, and she finally slid into the chair across from her. Exhale’s hand visibly shook as she handed Raine the folded piece of paper that had been the cause of everything so far that morning. “Read this,” she said simply.

“What is it?” Raine asked as she accepted the note and began unfolding it.

“It’s the thing…the thing Taston left in my locker yesterday.”

Exhale sat silently as Raine’s eyes read over the paper. It was like she was reading them right along with her, the image of them embedded in her mind’s eye.

I would die for you
I would die for you
I’ve been dying just to feel you by my side
To know that you’re mine
I would cry for you
I would cry for you
I would wash away your pain with all my tears
And drown your fear
I will pray for you
I will pray for you
I will sell my soul for something pure and true
Someone like you
See your face every place that I walk in
Hear your voice every time that I’m talking
You will believe in me
And I will never be ignored
I will burn for you
Feel pain for you
I will twist a knife and bleed my aching heart
And tear it apart
I will lie for you
Beg and steal for you
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see
You’re just like me
Violate all the love that I’m missing
Throw away all the pain that I’m living
You will believe in me and I can never be ignored
I would die for you
I would kill for you
I will steal for you
I’d do time for you
I will wait for you
I’d make room for you
I’d sink ships for you
Take the cross for you
Make me a part of you
‘Cause I believe in you
I believe in you
I would die for you

Raine’s eyes grew noticeably larger as she read and when she looked up at Exhale upon coming to the end, Exhale could see they were filled with concern as well. “Oh, my God,” she said slowly, setting the letter down on the table and clasping her hands nervously.

“What do I do?” Exhale asked, her stomach churning at the thought of what the note contained. “Do you think he’s serious?”

“Hale, he underlined ‘I would die for you’ three times at the end. I’d say he’s either serious or just completely fucked up, both of which make me really worried. All Taylor jokes aside, I think you really need to cut yourself off from him. I know you guys broke up and everything, but honestly, you should just stay away from him completely. I’m saying this as your best friend because I would die if anything happened to you. This obviously isn’t a healthy and stable person that you’re dealing with.”

“I don’t know what to do, Raine,” Exhale said, wringing her hands nervously and her eyes filling with tears. “I’m scared.”

“Have you shown your parents?”

Exhale only shook her head in reply.

“Have you talked to Taston since you got this?”

Shaking her head again, Exhale answered, “I only read it last night. And I was up half the night freaking out, so I slept through my alarm and that’s why I was so late this morning.”

“I think you should show your parents…” Raine advised.

“I don’t know,” Exhale said slowly. “I don’t want to get them all worried, especially if it’s nothing, you know? Maybe he’s just…weird.”

“Well, that’s pretty obvious,” Raine replied, her voice bitter. “Seriously though, you know I’m always here for you if you need anything. And I mean anything, Hale.”

“I know.” Nodding, Exhale swiped at the unshed tears clinging to her eyelashes. “I just need to learn how to be there for myself.”

__________________

When Reese noticed Taylor’s fingers were white from gripping the armrests so tightly, she gently squeezed his shoulders and smiled reassuringly at him in the mirror. “Nervous?”

“A little,” Taylor replied tensely, releasing his grip the slightest bit. He realized he’d been holding the chair so forcefully that his fingers actually ached. “What happens if I hate it?”

“It’s hair,” Reese teased. “It’ll always grow back.” She could see he didn’t look any less nervous, so she added, “Are you sure you want to do this? You haven’t paid yet. There’s no obligation. All you’ll have to pay for is the shampoo.”

Taylor took in a deep breath through his mouth and let it out slowly through his nose. “No,” he said, removing his hands from the armrests completely and placing them over Reese’s hands which were still settled on his shoulders. “I want to do this. I’m ready.”

“All right, Taylor. It’s now or never,” Chrystan the hairdresser said from behind them, snipping her scissors in the air. “Ready?”

After closing his eyes and sighing softly, Taylor replied, “Ready.”

Reese kissed his cheek tenderly and stepped to the side to give Chrystan room to work. Taylor closed his eyes again as Chrystan began cutting, unable to watch the chunks of hair falling from his head to the floor though he could feel them. It seemed like hours had passed before Chrystan finally announced, “Finished. See what you think.”

Before he dared open his eyes, he asked, “Reese? How is it? Honest.”

“Honestly. It looks really good, Taylor,” she said gently, coming behind him once again and resting her chin on his shoulder. “It doesn’t make your ears stick out like you thought it would. Come on, just open your eyes and look at it.”

Taylor slowly pried his eyelids apart, afraid of what he’d see when he finally looked in the mirror. He almost didn’t recognize the person staring back at him. Running his fingers through his shorter, lighter-feeling hair, he found himself speechless.

“Just say it,” Reese said, standing erect with a grin. “You know you like it.”

Laughing, Taylor said, “Yeah, I guess it’s not so bad. Haley won’t even recognize me.”

“That’s okay. It shows off your face,” Reese said, pinching his cheeks playfully. “And who wouldn’t want to see this gorgeous face?”

“Well, what are we waiting for? You’re getting yours cut too, right?” Taylor joked. “That was the deal, wasn’t it?”

“I hate to kick you guys out, but I’ve got another appointment coming in a few minutes and I need to clean up,” Chrystan said from behind them.

Once Reese had gathered up her purse and Taylor had paid for the shampoo and cut, they stepped out into the California sunshine, fingers interlaced. “How’s it going between you and your brothers? Zac said you all haven’t been getting along very well recently.”

“Better,” Taylor said, turning to smile at her. “I got some pretty good advice and decided to use it.”

Reese tried not to be hurt that he hadn’t come to her for help first. Knowing where the advice had more than likely come from unsettled her even more. Instead of showing her disappointment, she smiled back and sighed contentedly. “It’s good to see you happy for a change.”

INDEX | CHAPTER TWENTY NINE