“Look at this,” Exhale said, plopping down on her bed and pulling open her schoolbag. “Every time Taston and I get in a fight, he gives these to Will Raymond to put in my locker the next morning.”

Raine accepted the proffered folded sheet of paper as she took a seat on the floor of Exhale’s bedroom and kicked off her uniform penny loafer shoes. “What are they?” she asked, folding her legs beneath her Indian-style before unfolding the paper.

“They’re lyrics to songs,” Exhale answered. “At first it was cute, but now it’s just so predictable. It isn’t fun anymore, and it definitely doesn’t make me want to take him back. The thing is…the songs keep getting weirder and weirder.” She pulled out the box of all the other lyric notes Taston had ever left her and pushed them towards Raine for her to look at as well.

“What do you see in him?” Raine asked, her eyes scanning quickly over the words before tossing the paper aside. “What little personality he has doesn’t seem like anything worth spending time with. I think you should take this as a sign…especially now, when a certain someone will be home pretty soon.”

“Maybe so,” Exhale said thoughtfully. “I don’t know…Taston’s hard to get to know because he tends to be shy in groups, but when I got to know him…It’s hard to explain. It’s just that he’s so possessive sometimes…it feels like it’s not worth it.”

“He’s possessive most of the time, and he’s definitely not worth it,” Raine advised, leaning back against the bed frame.

Eager to check her email for any word from Taylor, Exhale relocated to her desk chair and clicked on the icon for the Internet on the computer that had been transferred to her room once Ethan had left for college. “I wonder if Taylor’s sent me anything yet…” she wondered out loud, knowing there was no decent response to Raine’s comment except to admit that everyone had been right about Taston all along. And Exhale wasn’t quite prepared to admit that just yet.

Raine laughed and shook her head, saying lightly, “You should stop denying your feelings, Exhale. It’s only going to end up making you unhappy.”

Exhale busied herself by going through her inbox, and answered, “The only feelings I currently have for Taylor Hanson are the same ones I have for you.”

“Ooh, you never told me you were a lesbian, Hale. And I thought I knew you so well,” Raine teased.

“Oh, God, Raine,” Exhale said back. “Kick your own ass. That was one of the lamest things I’ve ever heard you say.”

“Maybe it’s lame, but it’s true. You know you still like him. Hell, everyone knows it, apparently even Taston. So why are you trying to deny it?”

“I have six new messages,” she stated in place of an answer to Raine’s question.

Raine rolled her eyes at Exhale’s diversionary techniques and fished another note out of the box next to her. As she looked through the words, she listened to Exhale clicking the mouse button and muttering to herself, “Porno, porno, chain mail, crap, porno, Taylor!”

Haley,

What’s up? I’m finally getting some time away from my brothers. They’ve been acting like assholes lately. We’ve been fighting like crazy, which is so weird for us. Normally, we hardly ever fight, especially not when we’re making music together. It seems like whenever I try to get us back on the same track, one of them busts out with some stupid, annoying comment, and it’s been getting under my skin so bad. I can’t stand being here anymore, and if someone offered to send me home right this second, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’m so sick of this place and these people. I’m tired of everyone constantly nagging us, and my dad always telling us how we need to practice together more. After being in the studio all day playing and arguing, the last thing we want to do is go home and practice together. I’ve only met one person out here that I feel like I can talk to, but I still don’t feel nearly as comfortable talking with them like I do with you. It’s not the same. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to open up to people. With you, it was different, and I knew I could trust you from the beginning. But here? I just don’t feel that.

I’m sorry I wasted most of this email venting, but I knew you’d understand. I’ve been wanting to call you, but I’ve been under so much stress. And I know you understand. And if you don’t understand, I promise, you can bitch me out all you want next time we talk, okay? I probably definitely deserve it by now.

Taylor

“This is some serious shit,” Raine said, folding the fourth piece of paper she had looked over back up just as Exhale came to the end of the email from Taylor. “He’s like…obsessed or something. This all just seems really unhealthy.”

Exhale shrugged, clicking to reply to Taylor’s message. “That’s just how he is. He’s very intense. Although…his idea was good, it’s just not as romantic getting lyrics he copied from a Mariah Carey song, you know?”

“Well, we both know a guy who specializes in writing some pretty amazing, yet original, love songs,” Raine replied.

“Raine, you can stop with the hints,” Exhale said, turning to give her friend a pointed look. “I know what you’re getting at.”

“Just trying to help.” Raine shrugged and went back to reading another note while Exhale began clicking away on the keyboard in reply to Taylor.

_________________________

The next morning, Exhale and Raine were making their way down the hall towards Exhale’s locker to gather the books she’d need for her morning classes. Once jerking the door open, her eyes fell immediately to the white, folded piece of paper resting on top of the row of neatly arranged textbooks. She sighed heavily, the annoyance growing within her. “Another one,” she said, pulling it out to show Raine before pocketing it hurriedly. “You know, I never realized how lucky I was that he doesn’t go to school here. It was suffocating enough with him wanting to spend every second of the summer together without having to deal with him now.”

Raine shrugged and smiled. “You already know my opinion.”

“Yes, you’ve definitely stressed it enough,” Exhale laughed, pulling out the books she needed and stuffing them in her backpack before they started off towards their homeroom. “It’s weird not having Rory in our homeroom this year,” she pondered. “Especially now that her and I can actually stand each other.”

“Well, you know, with the whole alphabetical thing…” Raine said slowly. “I figure last year they probably just shoved her in wherever they could because she started so late in the year.”

Raine continued talking, but Exhale found herself tuning her out as she fingered the note stuffed in the pocket of her sweater and contemplated throwing it away. But she ultimately decided against it, choosing instead to deal with it later, and focusing her attention on what Raine was saying.

_______________________

Taylor,

Your problem reminds me so much of this song I absolutely love…maybe it’ll help you better than anything I could come up with. “I can’t take no more/What are we fighting for/You are my brothers/Each one I would die for/Please just let it go/All our heads are blown/Let’s take the stage and remember what we play for.” Remember those Korn guys you hate so much? That’s from their song Wake Up. The lead singer wrote it while they were having a lot of problems on the last tour and actually almost broke up. You should take his advice and just let it go. This is what the three of you love and have worked so hard for. Don’t blow it off by getting pissed off all the time. Talk to them about what’s bothering you, then put it behind you and move on. Believe me, I know what it’s like having someone who gets on your nerves so much that you can’t even stand the way they breathe. All you can do is fix it and keep going.

I hope that at least helped a little bit. Maybe you weren’t even asking for my advice and just felt like venting, but I gave it to you anyway. Take it or leave it. And believe me, I understand the not calling thing. I don’t want you to feel like you HAVE to call me every spare second you have. I know you’re busy and have a job to do, and you deserve your free time too. I won’t be hurt if you don’t have much time to call or write for awhile. But don’t think it’s because I don’t miss you! I can’t wait till you guys come home. It’s getting boring around here with just Raine around for company. Just kidding. I only put that because she’s claiming she’s not reading this over my shoulder but I know she IS! – [Hi, Taylor! Love, Raine] – Anyway, not too much is going on around here. I started school a couple weeks ago, and Ethan moved into the dorms at OU so I have his old computer in my room now. But with him gone, I have no one to play basketball with anymore, which kind of sucks. I’d ask Raine, but I don’t think she could tell the difference between a basketball and a golf ball – [I can too!] – Sorry, she keeps attacking the keyboard. Okay, that last paragraph was probably a complete waste of your time, so I’ll end this now before it gets any worse.

Love,
Haley [and Raine too :-)]

Taylor laughed when he came to the end of Exhale’s email and shut down the laptop before leaving the house and heading over to the MacDermott’s apartment. He knocked quickly, then stuffed his hands in his pockets while waiting for someone to answer.

Andrew pulled the door open, his ever-present smile greeting Taylor warmly. “Hello, Taylor. Here to see Catelin, I assume?”

“Yes, sir. Is she busy?” Taylor asked.

“I think she just got finished showering. If you have a seat in the kitchen, I’ll go get her for you.” Andrew stepped back and motioned for Taylor to come inside.

“Thanks.” Taylor made his way to the kitchen and pulled out a chair, collapsing in it as he normally did instead of sitting. Faintly, he heard Andrew and Reese talking, their accents making their words sound lilting and pleasant, though he couldn’t make out what was being said. The apartment was quiet, something he wasn’t at all used to. Even though he was only living with his brothers and dad, it was nearly as loud as when he was home with all six brothers and sisters running around. There were always conversations being yelled across the house, doors being slammed, people clomping up and down the stairs, and televisions turned up way louder than they needed to be. All of the quiet suddenly struck within him an intense feeling of homesickness. His clouded thoughts were interrupted when a pair of arms wound around his neck. “Hey,” he said softly, startling a little at the unexpected touch.

“Hey, babe.” Reese leaned in front of him, planting a quick kiss on his lips before taking the seat beside him. She pulled the thick blue towel from around her head, sending her damp ringlets cascading around her shoulders and down her back. “What’s wrong? You look upset about something.”

“I’m fine,” Taylor lied. “I just wanted to see you, that’s all. I needed some company that I couldn’t get at home.”

Reese began brushing out her long hair with one hand, covering Taylor’s hand with the other. Taylor turned his over so their palms were touching before interlocking their fingers and squeezing her hand gently. “Is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?”

“No,” he lied again, shaking his head. He had hoped that he’d find himself able to confide in Reese the way he could with Exhale. But now that he was sitting next to her, her concerned eyes peering at him, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It simply wasn’t the same.

“Taylor…” she said slowly, tilting her head to the side. “I wish you would talk to me more. I feel so helpless when I can tell something’s bothering you but you won’t tell me about it. Is it something I’m doing wrong?”

“I promise you, it’s not you,” he said sincerely. “It’s hard for me to open up to people. I didn’t mean to ever make you feel like it was something you had done.”

Reese smiled. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it,” she said, giving his hand another squeeze. “Just don’t forget that I’m always here for you if you ever need me.”

“I won’t,” he said softly. “I won’t.”

INDEX | CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT