Sleep felt anything but possible that night for Exhale. It was nearing two in the morning, and drowsiness hadn’t even thought about gracing her eyelids. They were wide open, her eyes fixed on the still wrapped, bulky birthday gift that Taylor Hanson had put in her hands nearly two and a half hours before. Her brain felt like a broken record, repeating, “I can’t believe he’s gone…” in her mind. Finally, she decided it was time to slow her mind, to ease the question of what was in the package. She slowly slid her thumb under the tape, trying carefully not to rip the paper. When all of the tape was loosened, she peeled back the paper and her mouth dropped open. In her hands was a brown leather book, the words The Complete Works of Shakespeare written down the spine in gold lettering. The book was obviously old, the cover cracked in some places and the pages stiff and yellowing around the edges. Her eyes fell to the inside cover, where Taylor’s scrawling handwriting was.

Haley,
       Happy birthday! I really hope I didn’t ruin it for you…I tried to tell you so many times before tonight and just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I hope you like the book. I know you probably have copies of all your favorite plays, but I saw this at an antique book shop and couldn’t pass it up. Don’t worry, I’ll be home before you know it! Happy Sweet Sixteen.
         Love,
         Taylor

Exhale tightly shut her eyes as well as the book, a fresh wave of tears pushing against her eyelids. She quickly wiped them away before rising to her feet, cradling the book carefully in her arms. She crossed the room to her floor-to-ceiling shelf unit and cleared some other books away, making room for this new addition. She ran her finger down the spine slowly before forcing her eyes away from it. She knew it was time to give in and go to sleep, especially since her and Raine started the classroom portion of their driving classes in the morning. Once changed into her pajamas, she slipped silently down the hall to the bathroom. The reflection looking back at her was a mess. She hardly recognized herself. Before brushing her teeth, she dug through the medicine cabinet and located the bottle of sleeping pills Ethan sometimes took because he had trouble sleeping. She swallowed one quickly, and hoped it would work soon. She couldn’t bear the thought of laying awake and remembering Taylor’s words.

___________________

“Exhale, are you all right?” Raine’s mother Moonglow looked at Exhale with concern as Exhale climbed into the backseat the next morning. “You look pale.”

Exhale forced a smile in her friend’s mother’s direction. “I’m fine, I just didn’t get much sleep last night.”

The three of them made idle conversation until Moonglow pulled into the parking lot of the community center where the driving classes would be held for the next five Sunday mornings. The two girls waved goodbye to Moonglow and stepped out of the car. Raine pulled her best friend into a tight hug. “Hale, you look like you’re about to pass out. Are you really okay?”

Trying again to smile, Exhale started to say yes, but gave up and shook her head. “I can’t believe he did this to me, you know? I mean, I understand he has his music, but to wait till the last minute…And just when I was thinking there might be a chance for us…We’d better go inside,” she said quickly, feeling another onslaught of tears.

Raine nodded slowly and hugged her again, wishing she could take some of her friend’s pain.

They entered the classroom where about fifteen other people their age were already seated. A tall, slim woman who was obviously the instructor, smiled brightly at them as they entered. She checked her roll sheet before saying, “You two must be Rainey Boyer and Exhale Brooks. You’re the last two for this group. We were just waiting on you guys to get started!”

“Sorry,” Raine mumbled, not even attempting to correct the teacher on her name.

They slipped into the last two remaining desks and class began. Exhale hardly had the energy to keep her head off of the desktop, much less pay attention to what was going on. In her mind, all she could see was Taylor’s face when he had broken the news to her last night. Somehow she made it to the end of the hour without bursting into tears or falling asleep. As her and Raine were making their way out of the classroom, the teacher Ms. Luce called out her name.

Startled, Exhale turned around, the other students continuing to brush past her and out the door. “Yes, ma’am?”

“Try to at least pretend you’re paying attention next week, okay?” Ms. Luce said, smiling gently to show she wasn’t angry but that she had noticed Exhale’s inattention to the material.

Exhale managed a weak smile, blush creeping up her cheeks, and said, “Yes, ma’am. Sorry.” She hurried out the door and found Raine waiting for her.

_________________

Two weeks went by before Exhale got her first letter from Taylor in the mail. It was an entirely different experience from talking to him on the phone or receiving an email because she knew that this was something he had sat down and actually spent time thinking about, that it was more personal. She herself had written him many letters in those two weeks…but rather than being mailed, they were stuffed in her desk drawer.

Once discovering the letter in the mailbox, she hurried inside, threw the rest of the mail on the side table in the foyer and jogged up the stairs to her room with it. She plopped down on the bed, tearing the envelope open hurriedly.

Haley,
       What’s up? We’re finally getting all settled in, and our stuff is actually out of the suitcases. We haven’t started doing anything fun yet, just visited the studio a couple of times and met some of the people we’ll be working with. But you already know that, because I’ve talked to you so many times. I’ve made sure to take tons of pictures of the sites we’ve been too and I’ll be sending them to you soon. It’s so amazing out here, completely different than little old Tulsa. I really wish you could be out here with us right now. Maybe when we’re older, I’ll convince you to move out here with me and we’ll live off of the hotdogs from the street vendors and Dr. Pepper. But I’ll be sure to find us somewhere right next door to a Starbuck’s so you can have your nasty coffee every day. I bet you think I’m insane now, right?
       Anyway, we’re going to start recording in a couple days, and I couldn’t be more excited. How’s everything going back home? I’m sure you’re going crazy missing me, right? Haha, just kidding. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep calling you as often as I have been these last couple of weeks, but I know how crazy it gets once we start recording, so I won’t make any promises. But I’ll do my best. Okay, well sorry this is so short, but it’s really hard to come up with anything to write when I’ve told you almost everything that’s happened so far! Hope to hear from you soon.
              Love,
              Taylor

Just as she finished the letter and was putting it back into the envelope, her bedroom door swung open and her mother peeked her head in. “I’m going to run to the mall to pick up some stuff I had on hold at Sears. You need anything while I’m out?”

Exhale thought for a second, then replied, “Can I come with you? I still have some money saved up from babysitting the Hansons and I want to go look for some CDs. I can meet you at Sears when I’m done.”

Magdalen smiled. “Sure. You ready to go?”

Exhale nodded, grabbed the cash from her jewelry box, and hurried out to the car with her mother. A little while later, she found herself inside the music store, a CD case in each hand. Her head went back and forth between them, trying to decide which one she wanted more since she had wanted both of them since they had been released. It was the same dilemma she found herself having every time she wanted to buy new music. She was so engrossed in her decision that she didn’t even notice the person stepping up next to her until they said her name. Surprised, she turned her head towards the speaker and found she didn’t recognize him. “I’m sorry, do I know you?” she asked, wondering how this stranger knew her name.

The boy smiled, a row of perfect white teeth appearing behind his lips. His brown shaggy hair hung haphazardly over his forehead, and his bright green eyes were twinkling as if he was thinking of something funny that only he knew. “You should,” he replied. “I sit right next to you in the Driver’s Ed class. But I’m not surprised since you usually look like you’re in your own world in that class.”

Now that he had placed himself, she vaguely remembered seeing him in the class, but couldn’t think of his name. “I’m sorry,” she said, blushing. “I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. What’s your name again?”

“Taston,” he said slowly. “Taston Mitchell.” He nodded toward the CDs in her hand and said, “You like Kid Rock?”

“Yeah, he’s pretty good. I can’t decide between this one or the new Offspring.”

“I’d go with Offspring,” he said assuredly. “I could be biased, since they’re one of my favorite bands, but that’s just what I’d go with.”

“Thanks,” Exhale said with a smile, putting the Kid Rock CD back. “I have to run and meet my mom, but I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”

Taston returned her smile and nodded. “Yeah, tomorrow.”

INDEX | CHAPTER EIGHTEEN