Her voice was so calm, so nonchalant, that Taylor could hardly believe she was actually saying what she was saying. “You…you’re what?” he stammered, thinking that he was hallucinating. She couldn’t have possibly said that.

“I’m having an abortion,” she repeated, her voice still calm, still nonchalant.

“You…Jackson…you can’t just…you can’t just fucking do that!” he sputtered angrily. “What would make you even think that?”

“You try living this, Taylor,” she replied, her voice growing louder and more determined. “You try having everyone look at you like you’re a whore in school. You try having your parents not even be able to look you in the eye because you’re such a fucking disappointment to them. You try being me for one fucking second of your perfect life, and you’ll see what can make me think that. We’re idiots to ever think we’re ready to take care of a baby.”

“Jackson, this is affecting me just as much as it is you,” he said forcefully. “It may not be in the same way, but you’re not the only one struggling with this, okay? You can’t just go off on your own and make such a huge decision, especially one that affects both of us!” Again, he found his fingers ached from holding the phone so tightly. It seemed to be a common effect of phone calls with Jackson lately. “Just…I mean, think about this for even a second! This baby is just as much mine as it is yours. You and I created this baby together. Maybe it wasn’t intentionally, but it happened, and you can’t just decide to…to kill it without consulting me first!”

“Taylor, you think I want to do this?” He could hear the tears in her voice as she spoke, all signs of calmness eliminated completely. “I don’t want to do this, but it’s the only thing that’ll make everything back to how it was before!”

“No, everything won’t be the same, Jacks, and you know it. I know you, and I know you’re better than this. You don’t…you can’t really mean it…” He knew he was beginning to sound desperate, but he didn’t care, because he was beginning to feel desperate.

“You just…you don’t understand,” she sniffled.

“Just because I’m not carrying the baby myself doesn’t mean I don’t understand what you’re going through, Jacks,” Taylor said, softening his tone as much as he could.

“I’m going to take a nap,” she said sharply. “We’ll talk about this later.”

Taylor sighed, knowing this wasn’t going to simply go away on its own. “Fine. I love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

The click resounded hollowly in his ear. He knew she was angry, he knew she was moody, but to just up and decide to have an abortion? It didn’t seem like Jackson to make such rash decisions. But then again, a lot of things had changed for both of them since she’d discovered the pregnancy.

Taylor fell back across his bed, tears racking his body in a way that hadn’t happened since he’d broken his arm at the age of seven. The thought of Jackson simply discarding their baby so harshly was seeping through his brain. He suddenly felt nauseous, and constricted as if heavy object was being slowly pressed on his chest. It became more and more difficult to get enough air into his lungs.

By the time Zac entered the room minutes later, Taylor was trembling all over, and drenched in sweat. “Tay? Are you all right?” he asked, stepping toward his brother cautiously.

“Jackson…she’s…she’s gonna kill…the baby,” Taylor said, swallowing thickly, now practically gasping to get enough air.

Zac ran into the hall, calling for his mother with a hint of panic in his voice at his brother’s condition. When Diana hurried into the room minutes later, she immediately figured out what was going on and rushed to her son’s side, helping him sit up and coaching him to even out his breathing. Zac watched from the doorway looking like a frightened animal. Once Taylor’s breathing had begun to return to normal, Diana turned to her younger son and said gently, “Zac, baby, I need to talk to your brother alone for a minute, okay?”

Unable to make any words come out of his mouth, Zac could only nod before rushing from the room, eager to get away.

When he was gone, Diana turned to Taylor with worry written all over her face. “Tay, you haven’t had a panic attack in years. What happened? And try to stay calm, okay?”

“It’s Jackson,” he said, struggling to avoid the fear that had just overcome him from taking over again. “She just called me. She wants to…she wants to have an abortion.”

“Oh, Taylor…” Diana said, pulling her son into a hug. “I’m so sorry…”

“Mom, she can’t do this to me-” Taylor stopped when his voice faltered, choking on tears. He pressed his hands into his eyes, too proud to cry in front of his mother.

“Well, Tay, you have to talk to her,” Diana said, stroking his hair soothingly. “If it’s something you feel strongly about, tell her that. Don’t yell at her, and don’t get yourself all worked up. That won’t help things. Just talk to her, tell her how you feel. Tell her what her going through with an abortion would do to you, how it would make you feel. She’s scared, Tay, and who can blame her? She’s going through a lot right now, and she feels alone. You might think you’re right there with her, that it’s affecting you just as much, but put yourself in her shoes. She’s sixteen years old, she’s having mood swings, morning sickness, soon she’ll be in maternity clothes, and having cravings, and she’s going to be worrying about the birth and breast feeding…there’s a lot you don’t have to deal with that she does, Tay. You need to remember that. And you at least have your father and I who are trying to be as supportive as we can. Jackson doesn’t even have that at home. So I can see why she’s seeing an abortion as a good option right now. You, as someone who loves her very much, have to tell her why it isn’t. She’ll either see it your way, or she’ll go through with it. You can’t make her decisions for her, Taylor, but you can give her your point of view and be supportive.”

“What if she doesn’t change her mind, though?” Taylor asked quietly once his mother’s words had time to sink it. “What if she goes through with it? I don’t think I could live with her or myself if she did.”

“Taylor, that’s for you to decide, sweetie,” Diana said, squeezing his shoulders. “But I think you can get her to change her mind.” She kissed his forehead and touched his cheek. “Now get some rest before dinner. No reason to worry everyone else right now, is there?” she asked, forcing a smile for Taylor’s sake.

“Thanks, Mom. For real. Thank you,” Taylor said, hugging her tightly.

“You’re welcome, baby. You know I’m always here if you need me.”

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