Sunday afternoons had always been Exhale’s favorite. Some people hated them because it meant the weekend was nearly over and it was back to work or school in the morning. But there was something about Sunday afternoons that made it perfectly okay to do absolutely nothing at all. And that was precisely what she was doing when her phone began ringing. She muted the ridiculous dating show she had been watching on MTV and reached for the receiver. “Hello?” she said lazily.

“Hey, slut, how was your birthday date last night?”

“Um…in a word, awkward,” Exhale answered, sighing and rolling onto her back while cradling the phone to her ear. She was thankful it was Raine and not Brady calling to ask her how she had felt about the night before because she couldn’t stand lying, and that’s what she would have to do for him.

Raine’s voice took on a tone of concern as she said, “Why? What happened? Did he try to get fresh with you like we thought he would? Oh my God, he did, didn’t he? I’ll kick his ass, Hale, I swear to God…”

“No, Raine, it wasn’t like that.” Exhale laughed at Raine’s entertaining jump to conclusions. “It was more like…he tried too hard. It’s like he’s just always trying to impress me.”

“What did he do?”

“First it was a ridiculously expensive dinner, then we went back to his house and he had this blanket set up on the floor with the dim lighting and a cake and everything. But then he gives me my present, and it’s a fucking ring of diamonds hanging from a chain, Raine. Who does all that after just a couple of months, you know?” she sighed. “I know what he’s doing. He’s trying to compete with Taylor…He has this idea in his head that Taylor’s got tons of money to throw around and that he spent it on me, and he thinks that’s what I’m used to or something. It’s annoying.”

“Well…Hale, you did have that gigantic engagement ring. It tends to give people the wrong impression,” Raine reasoned. “Not that that’s any excuse for Brady’s behavior, but that’s probably what made him think Taylor spent tons of money on you all the time.”

“I see what you’re saying, but it’s frustrating because I know that it isn’t true,” Exhale said. “I know that Taylor and I hardly ever went out, and if we did, we’d rather go to the same cheap Italian place we always do than the retardedly expensive place Brady took me. I know that the ring was a huge expense, but that it was out of the ordinary for Taylor because it was for something out of the ordinary. Most of the gifts he got me were probably less than ten bucks, but it was the ideas behind it that made it special. I miss having someone that understands that, because Brady just doesn’t. He’s like…”

“Like what?” Raine prompted when Exhale trailed off to a stop and didn’t complete her thought.

“Like…Taston, only without the crazy,” Exhale said, finally putting what she had thinking since the night before into words. The blanket setup had been far too similar to the disastrous six month anniversary her former boyfriend had arranged for her. Since realizing this as she settled down to sleep the night before, she wondered how it was that she always ended up with the same type of guy when she wasn’t with Taylor. It didn’t seem very promising for the future.

A low whistle entered her ear from the receiver. “Comparing him to Taston, that’s steep,” Raine said quietly. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing with him, Hale?”

“He’s not always like that,” Exhale answered quickly, eager to defend her previous statement. “Just…sometimes, he goes a little over the top. He doesn’t seem to realize that I like him, and I don’t need him to spend an exorbitant amount of money on me to keep it that way. Especially when he thinks he’s being more like Taylor, when it’s really the exact opposite.”

Biting back what she really wanted to say to that, which was that she thought Exhale needed to dump Brady and get back with Taylor anyway, Raine said simply, “Maybe you should talk to him about it, then.”

“I’d rather just leave it alone, and not say anything about it unless he does it again,” Exhale conceded. “I’d rather him not end up another Taston if I can help it.” A long pause followed as Raine said nothing. “I really like him, Raine. I know you don’t, but I do.”

“I never said I don’t like him,” Raine argued, her voice remaining soft while still trying to get her point across. “He’s just…”

“Not Taylor, I know,” Exhale finished for her. “I get it. I realize that everyone thinks I’m crazy for leaving him, but I have my reasons, and I believe in them. I feel like because of my choices, Brady isn’t being given a fair chance. By anyone.”

“Hale, I’m sorry you feel that way,” Raine said honestly. “But I don’t know what you expected to happen. We all fell in love with Taylor, and we all loved the relationship the two of you had. As weird as it may sound, everyone in your lives became invested in it, and it was just a big letdown to see it not work out. It’s like, if the two of you don’t work out, how can anyone?”

“I never asked to be everyone’s spokes model for the perfect relationship!” Exhale said vehemently, finally expressing all of the frustration that had been building for months. “Taylor and I were never perfect. I don’t want to be the example for the perfect couple, because that’s not what we were. And why should I have to feel even worse because everyone expected so much more out of me? Why can’t I live my own life without having to worry about what my family and friends are going to think, Raine? Why did I get handed this responsibility?”

“I don’t know why, but you did, Hale. For over a year, everyone was rooting for the two of you to realize you both felt the same way for each other, and it was such a relief when that finally happened and you became this…epic couple. I don’t know how it happened, but after all this time, those kinds of feelings can’t just change overnight. I don’t think it’s fair that all that pressure’s been put on you either, but it happened somehow, and…” Raine sighed and let her voice trail off. “I’m sorry, I guess it just feels like when you broke up with Taylor, we all broke up with Taylor, and I guess we’re all having to deal with that. Me, your brother, your parents, Taylor’s parents…It’s weird, I understand that, but it happened, Hale.”

“Well, it fucking sucks,” Exhale said, swiping angrily at the tears that had begun falling down her cheeks. “It was hard enough to let him go, but it’s even harder when no one will allow me to move on.”

“Hale…” Raine said helplessly. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

In all their sixteen years of friendship, those words in that order had never been exchanged between them. No matter what the situation, they always knew the perfect thing to say to the other to solve the problem or at least begin moving towards a solution. This had presented a whole new problem that neither of them really knew how to fix. Exhale was trying to fix it by moving on with Brady, but without anyone’s support, that feat was nearly impossible. But with how much the break up affected Raine, it was equally difficult for her to accept the decisions Exhale had made because she didn’t agree with them at all. Up until that point, she had done her best to hide that, but the ability to do that was slipping from her grasp.

“I don’t want you to say anything,” Exhale snapped. “I gotta go, I’ll see you Tuesday.” Without waiting for Raine to respond, she hung up the phone firmly and turned on her side, the tears coming harder and faster as she realized her life was a complete mess. She missed Taylor desperately, but she felt herself falling for Brady, despite all of his faults. Her family and friends had practically abandoned her, condemning her for ruining their image of the “perfect couple.” It was too high of an expectation for her to live up to, and she was angry that it was expected of her. Everyone, even those that were supposed to be on her side, sympathized with Taylor since the break up. She felt betrayed, but even more disappointing, she felt completely alone.

____________________________

The sun was going down over Tulsa when the Hanson family meeting ended and Taylor escaped to the back porch. He both loved and hated this part of his parents house now. It was a beautiful, wide, oak porch that extended the length of the house. The steps leading up from the ground were wide enough that they made perfect seating, but there was a long, wrought iron table and chair set on the porch if sitting on the steps wasn’t suitable. It faced west, and in the evening the view was breathtaking as the sun dipped behind the trees and gave the extensive property an orange-pink glow. The sounds of the forest provided an orchestra of sound in the dusky evening, and in the summer, even the thick blanket of humidity didn’t deter people from sitting outside and enjoying the beauty of it.

But now, a place that was so beautiful held memories that were once beautiful, but were now painful. It was here on the very same step on which he was seated that he had first seen her, chin in hand as she watched Ethan, Isaac and their friends playing soccer. He vividly remembered walking through the kitchen and stopping short when he caught sight of her in the window over the sink. He knew the best decision he had ever made in his life was that afternoon when he decided to detour from his path to the basement and to go introduce himself to her. He remembered how sad, how shy, how reserved she had been then, but he was able to break that wall down and get to know her as their friendship blossomed.

Now, he could hardly sit here without his throat closing up and his chest tightening as he missed her more terribly than he thought he ever had.

The back door opened and closed, and someone settled themselves on the step beside him. Clearing his throat against the thickness that had settled there, he glanced beside him and saw Reese looking at him with a frown on her face. “Taylor, are you okay with this?”

“Not really,” he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “But then again, maybe it’s a good idea. Maybe what I need is to…to get away from here.” He glanced back out towards the sunset and wondered if Exhale was somewhere watching it too and missing him. Somehow, he doubted that was true, so he pushed the idea from his mind.

“I think it will be good,” Reese said softly. “For both of you.”

“Both?” he questioned.

“Taylor…” Reese sighed as if she was struggling with what to say. The words were there, aching to be released from her tongue, but she was unsure if it was necessarily appropriate for her to say them. “When you broke up with me, I knew it was for the best, but I didn’t know if I would ever be able to get over you. Eventually, I did, but it was a long process. And when I think back on it now, it’s like…our relationship never even came close to what you had with her. Trust me when I tell you, if you think she’s moved on just because she’s with someone else, you’re wrong and you’re giving up too quickly. There’s no way that with the love you two had that she doesn’t think about you every day. She’s at a place in her life where she’s confused, and eventually she will realize how wrong she was to give you up. I truly believe that, but you need to believe it too.”

“How can you possibly know all of that, Reese?” Taylor said, amazed at the confidence behind her words. “How can you be so sure?”

“Because as a girl who’s had a relationship with Taylor Hanson, I know what it is to lose him,” she replied with a smirk. “It worked out for me, but after what the two of you had, no matter how hard or fast she tries to run from you, she’ll never be able to escape it. She loves you, Taylor, I have no doubts about that. I think that this time apart, really apart, is going to do more than you think. For once, she’ll be able to really and truly miss you. Yes, she missed you when you went out of town for weeks at a time, but she knew you were coming home to her soon. Now, that won’t be so clear, and she’ll know what it is to miss you.”

“I don’t know, it doesn’t feel like it could possibly be that easy,” Taylor said with a shake of his head. The sun was nearly gone now as he looked out over the trees. He crossed his arms and propped them on his knees, wishing he had thought to bring his camera outside and capture these moments of perfection in the world. “After the first couple of weeks, it was easier to believe that, but as more time goes on, she just gets closer and closer with Brady and farther from my grasp.”

“I know,” Reese said in her soothing voice, reaching out to place one of her hands over his in a gesture of comfort. “She’s young, and she feels like she needs to experience other things in her life. But if you let her go, if you let her fulfill those experiences, she’ll realize how miserable it was not experiencing them with you, and she’ll come back, Taylor. She’ll come back.”

Taylor let his eyes fall on his companion, her face smiling with confidence in her words. For someone so young, younger than him even, she was so wise. She spoke with conviction, as if she had been able to maneuver her way into Exhale’s mind and vocalize her most hidden thoughts. He was so thankful for drawing Reese into their lives and even more thankful that Zac had been around to keep her there after their relationship had fallen apart. To think he had been so angry at the thought of them together, yet now he was so grateful to have her there to calm him really amazed him. “I don’t know why, Reese, but I believe you,” he said, smiling genuinely. He uncrossed his arms and pulled her into a hug. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She returned the hug tightly, and was still smiling when their embrace ended. “Just keep some hope, okay?”

“I’ll try,” he said. For the first time, he really believed that. He plucked up Reese’s words and stored them away in his heart, holding out for the day when Exhale would prove those words to be right.

INDEX | CHAPTER THIRTY THREE