The next day after Taylor and Zac had shared a very uncomfortable lunch, Taylor went off in search of Isaac and found him hunched over his guitar, scribbling down lyrics in the scraggly notebook he had had for years. Nearly all of the songs that had been initiated by Isaac and made it onto albums were housed in that very same notebook, the pages worn and folded. Hating to interrupt him, but having never let that stop him before, Taylor plopped down beside him.

“Jesus Christ, Taylor, you could at least make some kind of noise or something instead of scaring the shit out of me all the time,” Isaac said, scowling at his brother for interrupting his concentration.

“Sorry. What are you doing?”

Isaac glanced at him and replied rather sarcastically, “Tap dancing.”

Without another word, Taylor got up and left the room. He knew better than to bother Isaac when he was in one of those moods. He went downstairs and found his acoustic guitar, then wandered around in search of an empty place, which was difficult to find given the amount of people staying there. Finally, he came across a spot and sat down, simply running his fingers over the strings absently as he let his mind wander. He was almost nervous about going home and playing the song he had written for Exhale. It was the same feeling that always came over him when he was showcasing his feelings for her in a song. He knew their music had never been among her favorites before they had started dating, but recently it seemed to be all she ever listened to. But still, that feeling always returned, that she wouldn’t like a song that he had poured his heart and soul into just for her. Of course, to his knowledge, that had never happened. If Exhale had ever disliked a song, she’d done a damn good job of hiding it from him. While he was excited that he had finally completed a song he'd been working on for so long, that feeling just wouldn’t go away.

Eventually, his strumming began to take form as he started a song he knew only too well from listening to Exhale sing it or hum it or play it hundreds of times. He whispered the words as he played, “She calls me from the cold, just when I was low, feeling short of stable...all that she intends, and all she keeps inside, isn’t on the label...she says she’s ashamed, can she take me for awhile, I cannot be a friend...we’ll forget the past or maybe I’m not able...Till I break at the bend...Well here and now, can we ever be again...Cause I have found all that shimmers in this world is sure to fade...away...again..” He stopped suddenly, realizing that sitting in a room along playing Fuel songs wasn’t going to get him anywhere in working on their own album.

So instead, he closed his eyes, remembering Exhale as she was the very last time he had seen her: sleep still in her eyes and a yawn threatening to escape her lips, curled up under that thick, deep red comforter that she had picked out for him as a housewarming gift. The sage green set he had picked out himself was quickly stored away in a closet, still enclosed in its original factory packaging, never to be used. He thought of her warm tanned skin, a tan that never seemed to fade even if the winter stretched longer than usual; her dark brown eyes so deep that he sometimes felt hypnotized by them if he looked into them too long; her hair so glossy and smooth when it brushed against his skin, hanging just above her shoulders as if threatening to touch them. And that was all it took. He opened his eyes, his mind swimming with lyrics that were fighting to be written down first as he pulled out his own worn spiral notebook and began scribbling them down eagerly.

For the rest of that afternoon, Taylor remained in that shrouded corner writing his heart out, and by the time Isaac had tracked him down to find out where he wanted to go for dinner, he had the makings of four new songs written down. Not all of them were even about Exhale; there was just something about thinking of her that made him feel more creative, even if the songs that resulted had absolutely nothing to do with her.

Two hours later, he and his brothers returned home with stomachs full of food from the small restaurant they had found for dinner only ten minutes away. Zac, almost as soon as they had stepped inside, had snuck off and enclosed himself in the room. Taylor could hear him whispering on the phone again as he passed by. He sat down beside Isaac in the living room and tossed down his notebook in front of him. “I wrote a lot today.”

“So did I,” Isaac said, trading notebooks with Taylor and looking over what his brother had been working on all day. “Sorry I was such a dick earlier. I’ve had this idea stuck in my head for the longest time, but every time I sit down and try to play it, it never sounds like what I hear in my head.”

“Maybe it’ll sound better when you get me and Zac playing with you,” Taylor replied, skimming his eyes over the words Isaac had written down. A love song. He smiled, knowing he shouldn’t expect anything less from his romance-driven older brother. It always amazed him that as much as Isaac wrote about love, he never kept a girlfriend for more than a few months. “Speaking of Zac, any idea what’s going on with him?”

Shaking his head, Isaac replied, “I dunno, I noticed he’s been acting weird…spending a lot of time alone. I have no idea why though.”

Hours passed quickly as the two brothers sat beside each other, excitedly trading ideas and input on the songs that had begun writing that day. Finally, yawning and stretching, Taylor said, “I think I’m gonna head up and get ready for bed.” Isaac nodded, his attention focused on the scribbled lyrics in his notebook. After collecting his own notebook into his hands, Taylor made his way up the stairs to the bedroom. The whispering had thankfully ceased on the other side of the door, so Taylor didn’t worry about opening the door and having Zac look at him like a deer caught in headlights. The room was already dark, and Zac’s heavy breathing filled the air. He could sleep through an atomic bomb. After going into the bathroom connected to the room and brushing his teeth, Taylor stripped down to his boxers, making sure to grab his cell phone from his pocket as he did, and climbed into bed.

In Tulsa, Exhale was just finishing dinner and going upstairs to do homework when Mmmbop began playing from her pocket. Smiling excitedly, she retrieved it and brought it to her ear with a breathless greeting as she took the stairs up to her room two at a time.

“Hey, baby,” Taylor answered quietly, still trying not to disturb his brother, though he didn’t think a freight train passing through the room would even be able to do so. “How was your day?”

“It was kind of crappy until I came home and found these roses waiting for me…” Exhale replied with a grin, running one of the petals of the gorgeous red roses between her fingers.

Taylor laughed softly. “I’m glad they got to you today…Were you surprised?”

“Of course I was,” she replied with a giggle. “You said it yesterday, but I figured you were just kidding with me. I didn’t even remember about it until I walked in the house and my mom said I had gotten a delivery and it was up in my room. You really didn’t have to do that, Taylor…”

“I wanted to,” he assured her. “I wanted you to know I’m thinking about you.”

“I know you’re thinking about me, silly…otherwise you wouldn’t call every night.”

“Today I was really really thinking about you,” he confessed with a chuckle. “I pictured you just as I’d left you, all curled up in bed, and I got four songs started. I think I’m going to get my brothers to help me finish them tomorrow.”

“Aw, I’m glad I could be of some service even from so far away,” she laughed. “What time is it there?”

“Almost one in the morning,” Taylor yawned loudly. “And I’m exhausted.”

“Well, I’ll let you go to sleep then…” Exhale replied reluctantly.

“Don’t be disappointed. I’ll be home in two days, remember?”

“I remember,” she whispered. “I really can’t wait to see you. I miss you so much, it’s killing me.”

“I know, baby. I miss you too,” he answered, his voice also a whisper. Only this time it wasn’t because of Zac sleeping, but because it was the only way to control the emotions threatening to take over his tone. After a long pause, he sighed lightly. “I love you, Haley.”

“Love you too.” She hung up the phone, sitting in a daze as she often did after ending a phone call with him, his body so far away from hers that she nearly forgot what it was like to be in his arms. And a thought came to her…what would it be like to have a completely normal, average, everyday relationship with Taylor Hanson? No music, no fame, no touring, no fans. Would they be better off or worse? Sometimes she wondered if that would actually make things in her life more difficult. As much as she missed him when he was gone, it was a nice break, time to spend with her family and friends without having to feel guilty for not spending as much time with him. And only by lying could she say she didn’t enjoy the fact that she had done more traveling last summer with the band than she’d done in her entire life.

As difficult and frustrating as their situation could be at times, Exhale appreciated the dynamic relationship her and Taylor were able to share that most other couples didn’t. Along with the perks that came with having a boyfriend in a famous band, their relationship was filled with a love based on a rock-hard foundation of friendship. They knew each other so intimately and so completely that it frightened them at times. It was like Taylor had come into her life as a male version of Raine, someone who knew her inside and out, and someone she could share her life with in every way possible, something she couldn’t do with Raine. Taylor knew her in every way you can know another person: her mind, her body, her soul.

No matter how much she stressed herself over the future, Exhale couldn’t help but know that life without Taylor wasn’t a life she wanted to live.

INDEX | CHAPTER SIX